Freedom Is A Moment Away

I’m not only a recovering single mom but I’m also a recovering 24/7 chocoholic.   I guess you could say I’m recovering from the first part of my life in hopes that I’ve learned from my mistakes and working on finishing the last part of my life, well. Amen?

Have you discovered the website Pinterest? Here's a description of their site: ‘A content sharing service that allows members to "pin" images, videos and other objects to their pinboard.’ One of my girlfriends told me about the site after her daughter got her captivated to it. Perhaps we now have recovering Pinterest users?

Someone else told me about the site and when I asked her how she would use the site, she said, ‘I go there when I have nothing better to do.’

Before publishing this post, I decided to bring up Pinterest – my second time – (praise God it’s not one of my addictions) and here’s what I found on the opening page:

Baked Alaska cookies. .... Mexican Chocolate Snicker doodles...choc chip cookies baked into a smooth white choc cheesecake, decorated over with mounds of mousse and choc shards….and my favorite…Car Baked Chocolate Chip Cookies! Is your car in the sun? Is it over 100* out? Bake some cookies without ever turning your oven on.

I quickly shut down Pinterest before my sweet tooth got the best of me. My husband has a ‘stash’ of junk food in his office which always includes chocolate of some proportion. Viewing what was pinned to this site almost sent me running into his office for chocolate, but I resisted.  Why did I resist? Because I want freedom from the consumption of sugar more than I want the temporary feelings of satisfaction from sugar.

Have you ever wanted freedom from something so badly that the very thing you want freedom from, consumes your every thought?

John 8:32 says that if we abide in His Word (that is, continue to read the Bible) we will be set free; we will have freedom. Freedom from what? I’m glad you asked - Freedom from sin’s power and freedom from sin’s pain. “Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.”

Here are 5 questions ~

1. Do you have a secret sin that is increasing its’ control over you?
2. Do you get easily offended and hold onto the hurt that was caused by the offense?
3. Do you almost have a reflex reaction to people when they say something that reminds you about a past bad decision you made?
4. Do you become overtly turned off when someone talks about God?
5. Do you battle with an inner critical spirit, especially towards others that appear to have life figured out?

Whether you consider yourself a Christian or not; if you answered yes to just one of these questions, then you are in need of freedom from the pain that you’ve been experiencing within the walls of your mind.  You need to be released and get yourself to a place of absolute freedom.  “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,” (Isaiah 61:1)  

Note: Isaiah was a prophet back in the dark days of Israel’s history.  He was a man appointed by God to evangelize; talking to people about their sins and failures. He was concerned about the moral and political decline and corruption of the nation. He was concerned that people’s hearts were hardened about the things of God. Isaiah’s heart broke for the things that broke God’s heart.  His desire was for all people to repent of their sins and have freedom in Christ Jesus. (we could be referring to 2012 but this was actually 700 B.C.)

I know that one chocolate donut or one bowl of ice cream is not going to kill me. But I do know that consuming one sugary food leads me to another and sometimes to a third.

Whether we are discussing my consumption of sugar or a bad habit we can’t seem to kick, a burdensome secret, or any type of addiction or unhealthy lifestyle…we are discussing the need for freedom. 

For me, the definition of freedom is having the desire to do what I know is the right thing. Operative word: desire. But because we are born with natural tendencies to sin and take on undesirable habits that at times control us, we need help from something bigger than us. Since we are ever changing, we need help from the One thing that never changes.

God calls us to wholeness. Only God can give us the type of freedom that is real. Even Paul, who I consider one of the Godliest men in the Bible, struggled with sin. I suggest reading what Paul said about himself in the Book of Romans 7:13-25.  Here is a snippet from vs. 19-20 “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”  If you don’t have a Bible, and wish to read this passage in full, go to the website www.Biblestudytools.com or directly to http://www.biblestudytools.com/romans/passage.aspx?q=romans+7:13-25

Dear Lord, I pray for each reader of this post. You are the only One that can give us freedom from things in our life that take us away from the truth and keep us in bondage to unhealthy situations.  Lord, please do not leave us where You’ve found us this day. May our hearts break for the things that break Your heart. Amen.

If you would like to talk further about obtaining freedom from something in your life that is gaining control over you, please post a comment or email me at nancyfbc(at)maine.rr.com. (insert an @ sign instead of the word at)

Until next time~

Blessings, Nancy

Whose Footsteps Are You Following?

Do you remember yourself at 8 years of age?

When we weren’t in school being taught how to read or do math, most of us were probably playing outside.  Back in my day, it would have meant hop scotch, jump rope and Barbie dolls; homemade cookies and milk or for special treats - orange crush soda.

In 621 BC, Josiah, who was 8 years old, was assuming the throne as King of Judah.  His father had been assassinated, so by default, little Josiah became King Josiah. (2 Chronicles 34)

By the time Josiah was 20, he was leading Judah in powerful spiritual reformations and revival.

How does this happen? Josiah was the grandson of an evil King. Today we see generation after generation following each other’s footsteps. But Josiah stepped out and became different than his relatives. As King, he was faced with a mighty task in front of him and he boldly sought after the Lord for help.

What about you?  What are your priorities today? Who are you following?  Do you have a broken past?  Parents who were broken? Ok, so now it’s your turn. You get to call the shots. This is your life. You don’t have to be a product of what was. You can step out like Josiah and boldly seek the Lord.

A young boy in math class is standing at the chalk board with other students. The teacher has written the problem on the board for each student: 7 x 5 = __. All the other students have the answer right: 35. But this boy has written 7 x 5 = 75. The teacher has obviously told him it’s wrong, and he says to her, “It may be wrong, but it’s how I feel.” (1)

Does that not symbolize our culture today?  Stephen Carter, a professor of law at Yale University says, “Faith is dead, reason is dying, but ‘how I feel’ is going strong.” We are not interested in the Word of God because we are not interested in the truth. We are not interested in God’s will, because we are wrapped up in our will and doing what we want to do. We want to go by our feelings which are much more to our liking. Many people’s God is their feelings. (1)

Josiah was 8 years old. Since he was only a boy, he depended upon his mother, Jedidah, and pious men to help him stay on the right track. Do you have someone that can help you be accountable and on track? Do you even know what track you should be on? Ask God to reveal these things to you.   

Our culture is such that the Bible is always being attacked. I suggest this is because the Bible makes the reader accountable. And like the story of the boy at the chalk board, people today don’t want to be made accountable; they just want to do what they want to do. We’ve become a culture of people more interested in protecting our feelings than doing what’s right or being held accountable when we do wrong.

I challenge you to step out and be accountable. Be accountable for your actions; for your decisions. Find a church whose Pastor preaches God’s Word.  Find someone that can help you stay on track. Set a good example for your kids and for those around you.

People aren’t looking for you to have it all together. People are looking to know how you handle life when you don’t have it all together.  I’ll be praying for you.

Until next time~

Blessings, Nancy  

(1) Sermons.logos.com

Do I Really Have To Share My Kids?

I’m sorry to use such vulgar language but divorce sucks!

In my ministry with single moms, one of the more difficult discussions we have is about co-parenting and surviving the time when the kids are with their dad.

Oh how I hated those weekends. My kids were age 12, 7 and 4 year old twins. At first, my ex took them in stages—2 at a time. It was overwhelming for him to take all four kids so he split up the visitations. But once he became more secure in his ‘dad’ abilities, he would take all four.

I remember the first time that I was actually all by myself on a weekend. I decided to go to a movie. I had it all planned out. I would arrive early to secure a seat on the aisle to make for any easy and quick exit (if needed).

I brought my check book to balance so I’d have that purposeful look while people arrived. So there I sat acting so in control balancing my checkbook.

Everything was going as planned until I heard someone say, ‘Nancy, what are you doing here all by yourself?’ UGH. Dear friends of ‘ours’ --2 couples begging me to uproot from my very secure seat and follow them so poor me would not be sitting alone... so embarrassing.

We made it through the movie and a very awkward invitation to join them for dinner afterwards, of which I declined saying I had so much to do at home.  If I could’ve sprinted to my car…well, you get the picture.

I hurried home, locked the house and cried myself to sleep.

What do we do when our kids are with their dads? How will I ever survive?

I’m 20 years beyond those days and I’m here to encourage you. You will survive. And depending upon how you and your kids react during this new normal lifestyle, you may become stronger and better despite these difficult days.

On the weekends that you are solo, remember how much this new routine is also difficult for your kids. Pray for them. Pray for their dad. He is most likely out of his element and not enjoying it either. But you say, ‘he’s the one that caused the divorce!’  It’s guaranteed that he never thought about post divorce life. If he did, he would have thought otherwise before it happened. There are no winners here people.

On these weekends, make yourself a list of things you’ve always wanted to get done or something you’ve always wanted to learn. Use the time to better yourself.  If you spend time having a pity party then you’ve just wasted good valuable time. Accept the situation and vow to make the best of it. None of this caught God by surprise. He knows our pain.

Some of you will bristle but God is more concerned about character than comfort. ‘Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope’.  (Romans 5:3-4)

‘Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.’ (Hebrews 12:10-11)

God is bearing our pain and suffering right along with us. ‘Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.’ (Psalm 68:19)

I’ve been confused about the reasons for suffering. I thought God’s main purpose was for me to be happy—free from pain. When God fails to deliver ‘happy days’ our world is crushed and we lose trust in Him.  Now I understand that the sustaining power of God is what gives me strength and therefore where I derive my joy. My awareness of Him and my dependence upon Him become greater in my weaknesses.

This will be the most important lesson you’ll learn during these weekends without your kids. It’s humbling to recognize how powerless we are and how much we really do lack trust in His abilities to provide our needs.

Your kids and your ex will be learning the same lessons. You may not see the fruit of this for years.  I hear some moms complain, ‘my ex is a better dad now than when we were married.’ You’re right. I saw that. Can I suggest that you reframe your attitude and praise God for it? Your kids are the beneficiary of this type of improvement. That’s something to get excited about!

And here’s the best news – someday God will use these struggles and hardships for good and they will become your pulpit – and you’ll give God all the glory.

Until next time~

Blessings, Nancy

Vacation

I am visiting my son in San Diego. I brought books to read and a good pair of sneakers. I have used both.

There is something about getting out of Dodge that refreshes the mind and soul. I am so blessed to have such a loving adult son that invites me to stay. He lives right on the harbor so there is always water traffic to watch. Currently there is a cruise ship preparing to leave enroute to the Panama Canal.

Today, as I walked the city streets, I noticed how much people keep to themselves. So I began to be purposeful in my time passing people. I began to say hello to each person I met and guess what? People started to recipocate. I ended up having some delightful conversations! Vacation allows us to have more time...we should always greet others with a smile or hello. So, why don't we? Time...work stress...life stress.

Next time you are walking, try saying hello to the people you pass on the street.

God always knows just what I need during these breaks in my life. His timing and purpose is always perfect. He always provides me with the opportunity to be a better person and to spread His love to others.

Until next time-

Blessings, Nancy