Are You There Yet?

Can I ask you a few questions?

Have you been disappointed by people?  Did your ex-spouse disappoint you, or perhaps, are you currently being disappointed by the actions of a spouse; or someone close to you?

Have you gotten to that place in your mind and heart where you’ve finally realized that there is no human savior that has really worked well for you?

I came to know Christ as my personal Savior because, for me, I got tired of trying to make humans into that perfect someone that could comfort me in my hour of need; into that perfect someone that would never disappoint me.

It saddens me to tell you that my singleness came from being divorced from my children’s father. It’s taken me years to forgive my ex and to forgive myself for the divorce. But today my heart has been healed by the love of Christ, not by the love of a man. At the end of the day, neither my ex nor my current husband can get me through the challenges of my life the way I need them to.

Let’s face it, if you are anything like me, we’re needy people. I need comfort. Sometimes I need BIG comfort. What I’ve found is that nobody can manage the type of comfort I need the way God can. To know that He will never let me down and that His very presence is always with me. A spouse can walk out on us, but God never walks out on us. He is always faithful, always trusting, always loving and always present. ‘God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.’  (Psalm 46:1)

The best part of my relationship with God is that I don’t have to go anywhere to gain His comfort. He’s always present with me. When I feel alone, He promises to never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5) and I claim that promise every moment.

So are you there yet? Don’t settle for the comforts of this world; because if you do, you’ll miss the unending comfort that comes from having a personal relationship with God's Son, Christ Jesus. I promise you that the divine encounters you’ll have with Christ will be more than enough to satisfy your needs.

Remember, insanity means trying to do the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. May I suggest that, today, you stop doing that. Stop wasting what little time and energy you have trying to change someone in your life in order for them to meet your needs. Trust me, it doesn’t work.

I don’t know what struggles you're dealing with today. But I can promise you this: There is no human that can meet your needs or comfort you in your times of sorrow like the loving, faithful way Christ can.

I pray that you are there; that this will be the day you surrender your broken life to Christ Jesus. He tends to our brokenness like nobody else. Let Him bring order to your life, like no human can ever do.  

If you don't personally know Christ, accepting Him into your life is as simple as ABC.

Admit that you have sinned.
Believe that Christ died on the cross and rose again for you.
Confess that Jesus Christ is Lord of your life.

Then you can pray the following prayer: "Dear Lord Jesus, I know I’m a sinner and need You. I believe that you died for my sins and arose from the grave. I now turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I receive You as my personal Savior and will follow You as my Lord. Amen."

Until next time~

Blessings, Nancy

'It’s Not Easy Being Green'

My kids use to love watching Sesame Street. Kermit the frog was known for his song, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”  Here is the you-tube link to that song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSS9PnU6T8s

The title of this song came to mind after a morning Bible class with single moms. During class, we were talking about the Samaritan Woman in John 4. I’m not sure I can connect the dots for you, regarding how we went from this Bible story to talking about being single, but I’m sure there was a connection and we never seem to lack good reasons for doing so.

Apparently, from what I heard, singles can be harshly judged by their family and friends because of their singleness.  Later, as I reflected upon the class, it occurred to me that those judging have no clue what it’s like to be green, so they attempt to change them to another color, something more in line with what they look like.    

In his song, Kermit says, ‘people tend to pass you over’ because you’re green.  I could really hear the hurt in these ladies voices this morning. They are single moms and for the most part raising their children without the support of a spouse.

Why would family and friends be judgmental about their singleness?

May I suggest ignorance? Perhaps they are so unaware of what it takes to not only be single but to be someone doing it properly; the way God will honor. And so I suggest that because these people feel uneasy about your singleness, they attempt to fix what they sense is your incompleteness. They try to play matchmaker; or they pray that God will bless you with the right person.  Ouch—as if God doesn’t have this under control? (Jeremiah 29:11 ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’)

We know God’s Word honors marriage, but what does it say about singlehood?  The apostle Paul is very vocal about singlehood. He doesn’t say that singles are incomplete people or that they need marital partners to be complete.

Conversely, God shows us through His Word that you can be single and be used mightily by God. We see this time and time again throughout Scripture. We are introduced to Bible characters that were either single for life or widowed without remarriage. Of course the most prominent figure is Jesus. But others include: Moses' sister, Miriam; the prophets Jeremiah, Elijah and Daniel; John the Baptist, widows Naomi and Anna the prophetess,  Mary Magdalene, the sisters Mary and Martha, Lazarus, and the most instructive on the subject of singlehood, the apostle Paul.

If you are single, due to divorce, widowed, or you’ve just never been married, and feeling the pressure to be otherwise by your well intended (or not) family and friends; remember to look at God’s Word. Scripture gives us the blueprint for how to live our lives. We can learn a lot from single people in the Bible and the world can learn a lot from you in your singleness. You can be a role model to others watching you.

 Look how much we can learn from the apostle Paul. In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, singleness is recommended- ‘…it is good for them to stay unmarried…’

There are advantages to staying single, you can be totally focused on the things of God: 1 Corinthians 7:32-35,40 ‘..an unmarried man (woman) is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – but a married man (woman) is concerned about the affairs of this world…’

The internet records that there is an estimated 2,320,644,660 single people in the world today.

Kermit says ‘Green can be cool and friendly like’  ‘important like a tree.’  ‘It could make you wonder why, so why wonder?’ I’m green and it’s wonderful, it’s what I want to be.’

So be like Kermit and ‘stand out like flashy sparkles in the water.’   Make your life count for something that God will honor as you wait for Him to fulfill His plans in your life.  Right now you are single for a reason. Claim God’s promises and enjoy all that He has to offer you each day.

I found this 'single' quote on the internet:

‘It’s healthy to spend some time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person once in awhile.’  (author unknown)

Until next time~

Blessings, Nancy

WHAT DO YOU FEAR?

Fear can be good…

We fear getting a speeding ticket, so we drive slower. We fear the penalty of getting caught, so we don’t steal. These are examples of healthy fears.

But fear can also be not so good…

Fear is usually the reason behind why we cannot sleep at 2 a.m.

As a single mom, my unhealthy fears were elevated.

During my single mom season I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior. I trusted Him. However, there were a few situations where I didn’t totally give it all to Him.  I didn’t relinquish the fear of not being enough for my children; the not being able to meet their needs fear when they wanted both mom and dad.  As single mom, I thought my new job was to be both parents to them.

Whether you share custody or you are parenting without their dad, we fear that our children will not like us or they’ll see us as the disciplined parent (vs. the easy going fun parent) during times we exercise our parental muscles.

From the Garden in Eden to present day, the ‘fear of losing something’ exists in all of us.

When we allow fear to make us run from the truth by ‘ignoring’ a situation, OR when we go to the other extreme and use ‘vice-like’ control in a situation; we are essentially saying that we do not need God in our lives and ultimately exclude Him.

God did not give His children a spirit of fear.

 ‘For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.’
(2 Timothy 1:7)

We do not need to fear the responsibilities that come with being a single mom. In the Book of Timothy, God promises us a spirit of power, love and self-discipline. That’s what we need to rely on and that’s what we need to teach our children to rely on too. Your children have fears too. Divorce and parents separating is a scary time for them. It’s our job, as parent, to teach them God’s Truths and Promises. Sometimes we learn this together with our children. Praise God!

It’s okay to be afraid. Just don’t run from it or try to control it so tightly that you exclude the One that can give you strength and wisdom and power to overcome it. Let your children see that you are going to God with your fears. Show your children how to claim God’s promises. This teaches them by example what to do with the fears that they face.

Until next time~

Blessings, Nancy

Whose Got Your Back?

Have you ever considered why God never mentions armor for our backs?

Here’s what God gives us for armor:

Ø  Belt of Truth (the Truth about God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit)

Ø  Breastplate of Righteousness (the perfect righteousness of Christ in those born again and filled with His Spirit)

Ø  Sandals of Peace (the inner peace that comes from following Christ)

Ø  Shield of Faith (how we live by Faith alone)

Ø  Helmet of Salvation (we are saved through Christ alone)

Ø  Sword of the Spirit (God’s Word).

There is nothing about protecting our backs!

May I suggest the reason why is because He has our back covered?  He doesn’t want us running from our troubles. He wants us to use His strength to face our situations straight on~

If you’ve never used God’s strength to fight battles then this may sound confusing to you.  How does God fight our battles and how would I know it?

Once upon a time I also didn’t have that concept of God. Since my youth, I believed in God, that He is my Creator and that He resided in heaven, where, if I was good enough, I would go after I died. But while here on earth, I truly believed that if it was meant to be, it was up to me. In other words, I needed to fight my own battles and in my own strength.

Then, as Beth Moore* would say, a violent earthquake happened in my life. The name of my earthquake was ‘divorce.’  Imagine the devastation that comes from the ground opening up and swallowing everything in site that is near and dear to the people surviving the quake.

Divorce shook my life. Trying to make sense of it, I realized that I couldn’t fix what was left and the broken pieces were chipped beyond recognition. Even a second husband couldn’t make it all better.  I felt captive to my circumstances.  

But my earthquake happened for a reason. Once the dust settled and I could think more clearly, I was reintroduced to my God…a God that lives in heaven but also in me. 

Perhaps you’re experiencing an earthquake. Perhaps yours is a relationship that you hoped would grow into something more than it has and now you’re left with a broken heart; or maybe you’re a single mom and life is just sucking you dry; or you hate your job and desperately want to leave, but you need the money, so you stay.

So how did God start fighting my battles?

First, like any good relationship, we needed to spend time together.  Why would God fight my battles if I don’t even know Him? So I started reading His Word, the Bible.

The Bible opened up my world. At first, it was dry and made no sense to me. But I kept opening it up and asking those I trusted to explain it to me. Once I felt comfortable with what I was reading, I took my relationship to the next level. I asked Jesus to come into my life and personally change me so I could have the joy that He speaks about and promises to those that know Him.

It didn’t happen overnight for me. Through the years, I’ve stumbled a lot in my walk with God. Trusting and not trusting. But the more I read about the battles He won for others in the Bible and for people I personally know, the more my faith to trust Him grew and allow Him to fight my battles too.

I’m encouraged when I read the Bible. Especially when I read about women who have overcome their circumstances; their faithfulness encourages me to be more faithful as well.   

So that’s how I began to depend upon God to fight my battles. Whenever I get discouraged, I open up my Bible and all of His Truths are there for me to lean on. The armor is waiting and ready to be used. He will do the same for you.

In our current single moms Bible study, we are reading the book, ‘Twelve Extraordinary Women’ by John MacArthur. He does an excellent job of portraying to the reader how God took ordinary women, like you and me, and through life-changing encounters with the God of the universe, he transformed them into Extraordinary women.

If you are struggling with obstacles, regrets, difficulties in your life, please know that you are not alone. God knows about your circumstances and if you allow Him to help, He will show you the plans He has for your future.

I’m not promising you an easy journey. My earthquake was painful. But the bonds, which held me captive to thinking I would never again be a whole person or experience peace and joy in my life, dropped off once I looked to God for all my needs.

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’  (Jeremiah 29:11)

Until next time~

Blessings,
Nancy

*Beth Moore has a ministry called ‘Living Proof Ministries.’  To attend one of Beth’s Living Proof Live Events, visit her website and click on Events: http://www.lproof.org/AboutUs/